Apani Kismat Ka Tuhi God

Namaskar to the bens and the boys!

Hum is rukawat ke liye maafi chaahte hain. Woh aisa hai, hum Vishwa Cup mein kuch zyada hi vyast ho gayein they, Blue Bhayion ne humein bohut dukhi bhi kar diya, theekh waise hi jaise ki humaare Blog Maha Purush humein kartein hain.

Khair isko kehte hain, pul ke neeche paani to hum move on kartein hain.

Is dukhant ghatna ke beech mein, humaare Blog Devataaon kaafi bujee rahein hain aur hum un sabhi ke posts par agle hafte se gaur karenge zaroor.

Lekin hum Bens ke sabse pyaare devata ne ek bohut hi dilchsap baat is beeech mein kahi hain, jiske baare mein hum quick tippani karna chahenge. Woh aisa hain, unka anumaan hai ki:

… God is a Couch Potato

Yaani ki: Bhagvan Ek Aloo Hain

Isko agar hum ladder karte hain, to hum is nateeje par pahunch saktein hain ki, Inzamam Ul Haq ko unhone bhagwan ghoshit kar diya hain.

Hum to Falsie Bhaii se yahi kehna chahenge ki, humaare bhagwan sirf wahi ho saktein hain. Aur sheegra hi hum is baare mein aur vistaar se humare POV ko pesh karenge. Is beech mein hum humaare paathakon se yeh vinti zaroor karenge ki woh humare is slogan contest mein bhaag le.

Is vakya ko pura karein:
Falsie Bhaii hi humarein bhagwan hain kyonki…

Contest ke Niyam

• Tees shabdon ke andar likhein.


• Koyi Footnote ka istemaal na karein.


• Nakal na karein


• Agar aap female hain, tabhi aap is pratiyogita mein bhaag le sakte hain. (Haan agar aap bohut dreamy aur hot hain, aur achi angrezi bolte hain to boys ko bhi hum consider kar sakte hain. Photo ka link bhejiye zaroor)

Khair, abhi humein chalna hai vapas. Dimpy Aunty aaj humein sikhane wallhi hai – Mal Puva!

Kahin mat jayiega! Aa rahin hain, bohut jald, Flogger Blog mein – Billo Chamanbahar!

Most bereft of all rhyme or reason blogger aka surefire candidate for the assisted living facility award--Nominee profile 1

Anaivarukkum vannakam. Romba saari for orey the neglecting thees flogger blog. Intha miga periya kutrathukku nan ennoda Shiva perumaan kita mannippu kekaraen. Podhuma? I was bijee becaas my amma is looking for gundu baais for my varapora marriage as I am sorrowfully getting too old to still depend on my parents for peerkanga thogayal and thayir saadham.

Chee chee I am feeling so bashful to exshplain the ponnu paakara process. Yeneway I shall plough on. I wore my neela kalar pattu podavai and strung jasmine around my braid and my amma made me sing keerthanai which I sang abaswaramaa and I also served semiya payasam and urulaakazhangu bonda to my prospective gundu purushans. But I have oru confeeshan. I am slyly stealing looks at pakatthu aathu paiyyan and his name is Jambulingam and he’s a good tamil boy from a traditional tamil family, and they are from Tiruvidaimarudur. I have secretly made him my purushan in my heart. So ellarum pray for me! I want to get married in six months (preferably to Jambulingam, aiyo!) and not be a burden to my paavum amma and appa. Aaandava, ithu enna sodhanai!

Speaking of sodhanai’s and rodhanai’s, we have to fill up the other nominations, no? Adhunaala, I am happy to announce that Kiruba is our firsht nominashun for the Most bereft of all rhyme or reason blogger aka surefire candidate for the assisted living facility award.

I would like to say on the outset that this award has nothing to do with Kiruba’s remarkable brand of blogging or to put it bluntly, his brand of non-blogging. You really have to extol the man for his singular posts. I mean, it must be immeasurably difficult to constantly maintain a standard of utmost mediocrity, and Kiruba has been successfully doing it for years!

I will not pick on his poor grammar or spelling skills. Heck, I am even willing to overlook the sycophantic “Great job Kiruba. Keep going.” or “Hats off to you Kiruba! I have been following your blog for X number of years!” or “Hi Kribs, you are truly great. Keep up your work, you are really inspiring” type comments. I have a nagging suspicion that these exercises in crapulence are published by Kiruba himself as the majority of them are from non-bloggers but I will apply restraint and stop my conspiracy theories here.

But being a fair minded ponnu and all I decided to skim through his posts, for something, anything to give me a glimmer of hope in Kiruba’s blogging skills. Sadly I was more than disappointed. When you order oru plate idli and you get only thengai chutney and sambhar but no idli, the disappointment is immense. Such was the depth of my despair after skimming through Kiruba’s blog.

I did come to realize that there is a pattern to Kiruba’s non-blogging. If he’s not openly bragging about the various mentions of his blog in the media, he’s frenziedly starting worthless websites with irksome names like Extra bed, The Kiruba show, Wikicamp, Wiki-illatha camp, Anotherbed.in and so on and so forth. To top it all off he’s relentlessly organizing one inane meet after the other and what astounds me is the fact that universities and other organizations in India invite him to give periya speeches and all and it continues, this special brand of rubbishy non-blogging farce with no end in sight.

The icing on the fake blogging cake however was this post.

I have no problems with Kiruba’s endeavors to raise money in order to help his injured neighbour. But is it absolutely paramount and necessary to plaster pictures of the boy on his blog while he’s scarred and semi-conscious in the Intensive Care Unit? I always thought Kiruba was a little soft in the head but this exceeds my expectations. Not only is Kiruba a man with questionable sanity, but with this post however he has proven beyond a doubt that he is treacherously callous and insensitive. Would anyone possessing even a whit of tact think of saying something as offensive as this?

“I leaned toward Prabhu's ears and told him of all the financial support that we were able to collect to meet his hospital expenses. He wanted to convey his thanks to all (and as he spoke these words, his eyes began to well up). The 'sister', seeing his tears immediately asked me to step aside and told me that if be begins to cry or weep, he might develop cold and cough. And if he coughs, it would be terribly hurting for him. I didn't bring up the topic again.”

Therefore, in lieu of all this damning evidence I implore you to come forward and vote for our King of the blogosphere, Kiruba! He has worked hard in narcotizing his readers to spread his hypnotic ‘number 1 position in the Indian blogosphere’ pseudo mantra with stunning levels of blogging mediocrity and it is only fair that we include the King in our polls as well.

So, long live the King!

Kiruba Vazhga!

87 reasons to nominate this blogger for the Dilip Kumar award!

Namaskaar! Sab kheriyat to hai na?

Humaari life mein kya chal raha hai? Pappu ne eggjaam mein top kar diya. Gaaslet ka daam badd gaya hai, isliye aaj hum fruit salad khayenge. Mamta ben ka doodhwaale ke saath kuch.. affair shaffair chal raha hai. (Lekin kisi ko bataana mat!)


Acha, chalo.. ek aur nominee ki baari hai. And this time ees the double attack! Zor se taaliyon se swaagat karein humaare agle nominee ka!

Sri. Dilip Kumar dwaara prasthuth kiye lifetime achievement awaard (blogbhumika ke padmashree)


aka

The Dilip Kumar award for the most exhaustive use of blogger and wordpress server space.



And our first nominesan is... Mr.Amit Verma! n-kor! n-kor!





Handsome Singh Hottie sir humko aajkal proverbs ka lessan padha rahe hain. Woh kehte hain,
Vaijayanthi, "A pikchar says a thouzand wurds" ka udhdhaaran (eggjampal) do!

Jaise fillumfare mein "best villain" nominesan karte vakt Villain ke fillum ka besht rape scene dikhaate, waise hi hum is nominesan ke liye visual aid ka isthemaal karenge. No audio, kindly edjusht.

This post is a fairly representative of Amit Verma's special brand of interweb diarrhoea in that..
a. It has nothing to do with India?
b. It reflects no writing abilities on Amit's part, correction no abilities on his part except his efficient use of copy and paste (and company time- I don't know where you work Amit, but kudoes on finding a job that affords you so much free time!)
c. It hyperlinks everything under the sun regardless of the utter lack of relevance to the subject at hand
d. It's a forward everyone's already read and reforwarded and somehow he thinks he's done the world a favour by purchasing webspace and publishing it for the world to see.

Also, I have one more koshchan...

What's cow got to do with it?

p.s. Linkon pe kripya click karein aur padhein!

Hum Hain Har Ek Mele Mein Akele urf Dukhi Aatma Award: Nominee Profile 1

Mere behad pyaare Bens and Bhaiiis ko Ms Palampur ka Namaskaar.

Uff, last few days bohut zyada hectic sa raha. Kyonki hum Holi ki tayari mein jude huye hain. Yes yes, we Bens from Palampur go to Sirmaur and take part in the Byas Mela there. It is so much fun, bohut ladkiyon ki shaadi bhi fix ho jateen hai har saal. *Giggle* So Billo Ben ki madad se humne apna naya wardrobe tayar kar liya hai. Agar humaare paathak koyi Byas Mela mein aa rahein hain, to humein zaroor batayiega.

Anyway back to buziness, immense joy comes as we present to you the first of the Dukhi Aatma Award nominee profile of the Floggies series. Yes yes, such irony.

To aisa hai, is Award ke waise to bohut saare haqdaar hai, lekin humaare hisaab se sabse tagda muqabala karenge, hum sab ke pyaare, behad dulaare – Amit Verma. Saare Blog-Bhumika mein Amit Verma to bilkul hi chahye huye hain. Shayad hi aisa koyi shaks ho jinhone unka bilkul Kateela Blog dekha na ho. Haan haan, aise shaks ka milna mushkil hi nahin namumkin bhi hai.

Okie okie, Ammu Akka is giving me strict instruction to write in Englis-Pinglis, so I shall attempt. Waise to I studied college also, but only Pass course and not Haanars. Failed in Pass course also. Uff phir se irony.

Like among the devataaon one notices that some have zyada bol-bala over others ditto for the Flog-O-Sphere. So among all the divine devataas, Verma Saheb is like UP there. He is Kalyug’s Kali – the negative manifestation of Vishnuji. Oh and plizz don’t think that this Blog is not secular because we refer to so much of Hindu gods and goddesses. We are very very secular. Just like Virbhadra Singhjee, Manmohan Singhjee, Mulayam Singhjee and Vagairah Singhjee.

Anyway, since Verma Saheb is sooo important in the Flog-O-Sphere we spent quality time reading through his posts (sir dard se phata jaane laga) and trying to use our simple minds to understand what he had to say. Many things were noticed.

Most noticeably was the frequency of his postings. Just when one managed to read one post, another one pops. Hai Ram! Agar itna samay Blog par bitayein, to ghar kaise chalate honge? Anyway given that we are not so clever-shlever we got the help of a Vyawharwadi Manovaigyanik Ben to help us understand this phenomenon. We like to be scientific and not indulge in Pop Psychology, you know. Vyawhar Ben conducted many tests and formulated some null and alternate hypothesis after reading Verma Saheb’s Blog. With the help of the Kraut Model, she was able to establish that Verma Saheb is a very lonely man. She told us that we got a very satisfactory goodness of fit.

But we Bens like to give everyone a fair chance and don’t want to pass value judgments and sweeping generalizations like some of our Blog Bhaais do (we all know who that is, don’t we?)

So we decided to go through all the posts on his Blog of the last two years and understand the softer issues beyond the empirical evidence that we already had. After trawling through half a dozen of his posts we were able to reach the conclusion that Verma Saheb is indeed a very sad man.

How how, you ask. Let me tell you.

Content analysis shows us that the incidence of YouTube videos on his Blog is very high. That by itself is not such a bad thing, of course. Though won’t say it is terribly original coming from the Bid Daddy of Flog-O-Sphere. But hey gods have to do what gods can do, nahin? However, the type of videos are the bigger concern. Too many Bangladeshi and Dakshin Bharatiya videos are being linked to. We love our Bangaldeshi Bens and Bhaiis, please don’t mistake taking. We love Ammu Akka, Sreeshanth Chetan, Laxman Garu, Murali Kartik Anna and Dravid Anna, so no problem there either. But phir bhi, jis tarah ke videos Verma Saheb ne apne Blog mein dale, woh to dekhkar aisa hi lagta hai ki woh khud to dukhi hai hi, aur to aur woh apne paathakon ko bhi dukhi dekhna chahte hain.

Uff, and then too much of cow reference on the Blog. Cows are good gentle animals. But we wonder if there is a deeper meaning behind it. After all, gods are supposed to be deep deep. Is baat par humein ek cheez yaad aati hai, aur woh yeh ki humaare Palampur shehar mein ek bohut hi ghatiya khel hai jo yahan ke Naujawan khelte hai, usko kahte hai Cow Tipping. Some people think that it is some kind of an Urban Legend, but these non believers need to visit Palampur. Humare hate-katte jaat bhaii, isme bilkul maahir hai. So we are guessing that Verma Saheb cannot really manage to tip too many cows, so he indulges in this make believe tipping. Tchee Tchee. Cow Loving Activists ought to take note. Also if one were to analyze deeper and read meanings into things, one can conclude that cows symbolize lonely grazing and that is how Verma Saheb looks at Blogging.

And another thing that we notice is that TOO much of Eco-no—meeks cutting also happening. Dreadfully boring and a bit too complicated. Ab koyi Libertarian ho, Brahmin ho ya Iranian ho, kya faraq padta hai? Kitna logon ka is tarah se kutting karenge aur dilon ko todenge? But no, we like to wear our badges and form clubs and chilla chilla ka kahenge, ‘Look maa, Libertarian.’ Yeh Libertarian-Shibertarain kya hai bhai? I only know about the Statue of Liberty which I have seen in the fillum – Kal Ho Na Ho. But really, hum Chidambaram Saheb se humble request karenge ki woh kuch extra tax lagaye un Bloggers par jo humein itna pakaate hai aur dukhi kartein hain.

Oh and what does exaggeratedly cute statements like – Fun Will Come mean? Woh bhi koyi Rakhi Saawant wallhe YouTube video ya Koena Mitra ka TOI interview ya Mid-Day mate dekhkar? Kaisa fun bhai? We Bens are not approving of sexist and patronizing stance towards women with great bodies. This whole, nudge-nudge-wink-wink Big Boys Joke is so awfully passé. Hello! And really if one must practice ones barbs and this entire look-i-am-so-clevah-and-witty bit, why choose soft targets? Go for the holy cows for a change, since we love them cows soooo much.

Oh and finally, a Blog is a fantastic way to connect with people and listen to alternative points of view. Especially since we are Libertarian free-speech believers na? Lekin Verma Saheb apne blog par kissi ko bhi tippanai nahin karne dete hai. Why like that? Is it just us, or is the fact that someone who writes on a public forum but does not like to hear a point of view which could possibly be contrary to his, seem thoda strange? We Flog Bens would love to tell him how much we love all those YouTube videos, alas we cannot.

Is sab ko dhyaan mein rakhte huye, humein lagta hai ki Amit Verma Saheb Dukhi Aatma Award ke liye bilkul hi sahi haqdaar honge. Humari is choti si koshish se kya pata hum unke jeevan mein thoda sukh hi le aaye? Hai na?

So please come forward and express your solidarity and support for Verma Saheb. Shayad har kissi ko ek Gaay free mein mil jayein. Aur sochiye, Gaay se milega humein doodh. Doodh se dahi. Dahi se Lassi. Aur aur aur, Lassi Jaisi Koyi Nahin!

Haan to bilkul in the andaaz of Shahrukh Bhai, sab milke boliye, Ladeez and Gentlemaans aur Baays and Girrllls, Funnnn Weeel Caaam!

Padosee ke chulhe se aag laii le (Blog post that made you want to torch the Blogger HQ award--Nominee profile 1)

Akkkhheinnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Terminator ke ishtyle mein, "I am back". Aapne humko miss you kiya? Kindly escoose, becaaj humaare pappu ka eggjaam tha. Already hum keh chuke hain ki hum sirf forath standard ke padhein hain. Isliye humko pappu ko shake-isspeare sikhaane mein thodee dhikkat hotee hai.

Akkkhheinnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Eggjaam Eggjaam karte karte humein yaad aaya, aaj ka kaaryakram- The Eggjaamined Life. Deviyon aur sajjanon, aaj hum aapke saamne humaare nominee ko prasthut karenge.

*taaliyaan taaliyaan*

Jinke Blog post ne aapko khudkhusee ke taraf dhakel diya awaard aka blog post that made you want to torch the Blogger HQ award

*opens the little golden envelope*

Aur is awaard ke nominee hai............................
Ravikiranjee......... jinhonein apne "middle class of india" blog post se humaare pappu and chunnu donon ko rula diya aur humaara mood kharaab kiya jisse humnein daal jalaadee jiski vajah se humaare pateedev ne humko chappal se maara. Ravikiranjee, you owe big time!

Becaaaj bharatiya blog bhumika bhaarat ki tarah guntantra hai, kaaryakram ka baaki hissa hum angrezi mein pesh karenge. Pappu ke English sir Handsome Singh Hottie (jo bahut hi dreamy hai) ne anuvaad karne mein humaari maddad ki!

"Dear Middle-Class of India", he says. It is not often in this country, that the middle class of India gets representation, so in the vain hope that I have a voice, I sit up and take notice.

Oh, but no sooner does he have my attention than he proceeds to take a dump over the collective middle class in his misguided, misdirected attempt to save the Indian farmer.

"The topic you need to talk about is restriction you put on farmers, preventing them from selling their land for non-agricultural purposes. No, please don’t change the topic or use euphemisms."

We're not trying to change the topic, Ravikiran, we just don't have a clue what you're talking about! Last time I checked, I had no problem with Namdev selling or not selling his bajra farm to start his own gober gas plant.

Ravikiranjee goes to say that I, the middle-class Indian, is directly responsible for and I quote forcing landless labourers to travel long distances, not letting industries come up in backward areas, for the stunted growth of our cities, not letting small towns in India develop.

I, the middle class Indian who pays debilitating taxes on a not-so-substantial income, who makes up for tax-evading black-money-grubbing rich folk, mafia and so on, who makes excrutiating interest payments to secure a one bedroom hole in the wall in urban India, by owning a house or piece of land in those cities, am directly benefiting from the cruelty I am inflicting on farmers.

It is still unclear to me, the bumbling, clueless middle class Indian (who didn't get a chance to vote by the way but who's counting?) just exactly how I am responsible for the a problem so huge and involved given that Ravikiran also implicates corrupt politicians, bureaucrats, land sharks and industrialists.

Main Geeta ki (aur Ammu aur Billo ki bhi) saugandh khaake kehtee hoon ki main koi bhi politician ya industrialist ko nahin jaantee! Sach!!

There are also some mysterious statistics thrown in a charmingly arbitrary fashion- the source of these citations, much like Ravi's cranial matter is missing.

“Why have the benefits of liberalization not reached the poor even after 15 years of liberalization?”

I'll tell you why, for the same reason that
1. hundreds of crores of rupees can be masked in fodder costs
2. cops are going around raping young girls
3. Sanjay Dutt is a glorified hero and a leutinant general in the Indian army isn't

Maybe there is a real reason for these and other travesties. Maybe there is a solution. But a pompous and unsubstantiated taunting of a largely powerless, helpless section of society isn't it.

The undersexed award of the year: nominee profile 1

Vannakam makkaley! I am glad to ring in the nominations by bringing to you the first ever nominee profile of the Indifloggies!

So.

This man has been spouting his unparalleled views on how not hot ‘madrasi’ chicks are when compared to ‘punju’ chicks and what not.

This. Man. [trigger warning: we will not be responsible for singed eyes, click at your own risk]

When he published his first post, I was weirdly affronted, mildly tickled and I actually felt a smidgen of pity for mister vulture in parts. But trust the vulture to come up with a flatulent follow-up post which ended up being ten times more nauseating than his first post. Apart from being arduously long (you will age considerably while trying to plod through the whole thing) it was one big excuseathon for him being a glorified prick.

Not convinced yet?

Why don’t you glance over these magnificent statements professed by our man, and then decide for yourselves whether the vulture deserves the glorified prick status or not, hmm?

Don’t we all find certain types of people more attractive than the others? Is it racist to say that Italian men are hot? Or that Scandinavian women are sexy? At least I don’t seem to think it is. Then why is it racist to conversely say that you don’t find a certain type of people physically attractive? Is saying that Americans are ugly, racist enough? Is saying that Blacks are ugly, more racist than saying Americans are ugly? Is there a standard method of detecting how racist a statement is? Who decides?

Or this lovely nugget,

Does this make the average South Indian women less attractive as compared to the average North Indian? At least by the standards of beauty that myself and large part of India have been conditioned to, it does. While I can speak for myself with full confidence, I can only take a guess for what I consider a majority of India’s population. All those Fair and Lovely sales certainly say something, don’t they?

Or this clever observation made by Dr. Vulture,

Or maybe it is because there is a certain degree of insecurity at play here? If you call America an underdeveloped country, it might sound amusing. Because America is very clearly not “underdeveloped”. But if an American were to call India an underdeveloped country, I’m positive that a lot of Indians would be enraged. Their insecurity would turn into righteous anger and a few people would feel like using abusive language against Americans. Similiarly, I think if I would have said that Kashmiri women are less attractive as compared to Maharashtrians, a great deal of people would have told me in a good natured manner that I was nuts and that I must get lost. I’m sure that a lot less people would have abused me the way they have. And I don’t think anyone would have called me a racist.

Unfortunately for Dr. vulture, looking like a cross between a secluded alleyway rapist and a mammoth goon does not bore well for his piteous oh please where’s your sense of humor, I am single and horny cant you see so laugh or else, type statements and it doesn’t make them any less wretched.

That is why people, Vulturo is one of the esteemed nominees of the “The undersexed award of the year” for a combination of killer looks (Literally, no figurative jackshit here. Try staring at his face for like 10 seconds. I averted my eyes after 4 seconds; they began to water at his repulsiveness) and a strange cockiness that accompanies only dreadfully ugly people. Armed with such appreciable qualities, he has single handedly made sure that his chances of ‘ever’ getting laid land between a high zero and a low nothing.

Congratulations Dr. vulture. Bask like an overstuffed walrus in all the laughable attention you’re getting. Because people laughing at your misplaced, bloated ego is all the attention you’re gonna get, so you better work it boy!

Confession:

This post is actually my tooth-in-gum way of professing my love for the vulture. Since I am technically 'madrasi', I should be short, dark and unsightly and nobody north of Ponneri or Pazhaverkaadu will want to copulate with me. And by the vulture's standards, since he is north-west Indian he must be more attractive than I am without a doubt, even if his appearance is revolting by human standards. Therefore, I will wholeheartedly extend a coital invitation to the tongue-in-cheek master, Mr.vulture. Chee chee, I must go pay a visit to the Papanasam temple and bathe in the Tamarabharani for my indecorous confessions. Shiva perumaney, enna mannichidu!

Lassi Jaisii Koyii Nahiin

At a dhaba somewhere in the Flog-O-Sphere Highway – Kaun Fused?, Cow Shit Karma and K Chick from Duh-Land are consoling Suck-It Will-Ya over many glasses of lassi.

Suck-It Will-Ya: I hate Popaddum Madrasis. Now I understand what Jade Goody was going through in the Big Brother’s House. Shilpa Shetty is a Madrasi isn’t it?

Kaun Fused?: Dude, I must first of all say that you are stupid. Of course, only a pot can call a kettle black, you see. But really, I don’t think you are a racist. Just a dumbf*&^%. That is much better you know.

K Chick from Duh-Land: I agree with you SW. Madrasi chicks are so not on. I can’t imagine who would want to see them without clothes. I wonder if I can take part in the hottest chick contest? All my proportions are so small and just right. Especially my EQ. What do you think boys?

Cow Shit Karma: I think all of this is pointless. Why can't people just watch videos on Youtube.

Suck-It Will-Ya: People are so insecure man. It is shocking. Madrasis are ugly and they don’t have a sense of humor also.

K Chick from Duh-Land: How true man. It must be so sad to be them. Give me my life any day. At least I get laid. And I am fair skinned and nicely proportioned. Not too big you know. Especially my IQ…

Kaun Fused?: Dude, I must say this again - you are stupid. So you are not getting laid by Madrasi Chicks, surely that is no reason to be stupid. No Bong chick wants me. Correction: No chick wants me. Can we have beer instead?

Cow Shit Karma: I think all of this is pointless. Now if it were cows, that would be something. I wonder if Madrasi cows are hotter than the Non Madrasi ones?

Suck-It Will-Ya: I think Madrasi chicks are like cows.

K Chick from Duh-Land: But cows are usually white in colour and Madrasi Chicks are not exactly fair skinned no, Suck-It Baba?

Kaun Fused?: Dude, did I tell you that you are stupid? How do I get Bong Chicks man?

Cow Shit Karma: When one can have cows, why get chicks? Much fun shall come I say.

Suck-It Will-Ya: I would rather do a cow than a Madrasi chick man.

Cow Shit Karma: Yes yes. Much fun shall come.

Kaun Fused?: This is stupid man. But what the hell! As long as I get a Bong cow!

K Chick from Duh-Land: Boys, I am looking at the atlas. I can’t seem to find Madras. It is beyond Virar no?

Suck-It Will-Ya: And Madrasi boys are so horny. They Google for p*&n!

Kaun Fused?: Errr, don’t you? Remember what Girthbong had to say about Desibaba. Sigh, Bongs.

Cow Shit Karma: Ever tried Cow *&n? Much fun shall come.

K Chick from Duh-Land: Suck-It Suck-It, do you check p*&^? If you say yes, I am leaving. Madrasi boys have to check, because their women are so uncool. But you? You?

Suck-It Will-Ya: Oh shut up, there is no sex in my life. I am not ashamed or insecure about that. See, I admit to it. But Madrasis! Ugly cows.

Cow Shit Karma: Young man, cows are the most beautiful thing. Watch it will ya. You can do all your tongue-in-cheek with Madrasis. Leave them cows.

Kaun Fused?: Ya man, you are stupid. Gai humari mata hai.

Suck-It Will-Ya: Right. Aur Bandar humare baap hai.

Waiter: Aapke honge sir. Humare to insaan hai. Aur kuch? Special Madrasi khana hai aaj. Lenge kya?

[Footnote 1] The nominees list shall be out on Friday. Our contributors are working overtime reviewing Blogs. So be a little more patient.

[Footnote 2] In the spirit of fairness we are looking at expanding the categories list. We don't want anyone to feel left out.

[Footnote 3] Yes, even WE do footnotes!!!